Episode 58: Bullies, Masks, and Leaving Judgment to the Lord
Something that’s been on my mind quite a bit this past year has to do with why it’s so important to leave judgment to the Lord and focus instead on just loving others. That’s nothing new, we all know this. It’s taught in the scriptures in multiple places, and it’s taught from the pulpit during General Conference. Yet I felt like there was more to it that I just wasn’t getting, but through a process that evolved over the course of about a year, I came to understand the “why” behind the teaching a little better.
It began in January 2020 when my daughters introduced me to the Ancient Enneagram.
In recent years, the Enneagram has resurfaced through the vein of Christianity. Or, as one supporter put it, “They rubbed a little Bible on it and made it legit for Christians.”
It’s not so much a personality test. It’s about the motives behind our behaviors and being able to recognize when our behaviors are coming from a place of stress or a place of health.
The best way to understand where you fall on the circle is to read about each of them and go back to when you were a child to see how you behaved in certain situations or experiences.
I couldn’t do it! None of it spoke to me on a deep, personal level. It was extremely frustrating. “I’m not there!” I told my daughter. “I don't fit anywhere in the model.”
After 3-4 weeks, I asked the Lord for help. “Heavenly Father, I know this is a lame request …. It’s just a stupid theory …. But would you please help me identify where I fall on this Enneagram model? It has nothing to do with my eternal salvation …. And it’s likely a huge waste of your time (and mine), but I really want to understand why I cannot seem to find my core truth.”
And you know how people say that if it’s important to you, then it’s important to the Lord? Well, this is a great example of that.
The Lord knew exactly what was going to happen as He began to tutor me through the process. God knew? Of course, He did. He knows everything. But I don’t, so I had no way of knowing what was coming.
Turns out I was hiding. I had created many different masks as a means of emotional and mental protection. Every time I successfully peeled away one mask, I would discover yet another one. It became very important to me to identify specific events that resulted in the creation of each mask. Memories rose to the surface that I'd forgotten. And each memory involved some form of bullying--beginning at the age of 4 years old.
In this episode, I relate the stories of four bullies who had a powerful impact on my life: Tammy, Sundown, JoAnna, and Melanie.
Key Take-Aways
See others. Recognize when they are hurting even if they’re hiding behind a mask. And when you see them, don’t worry about fixing them. That’s God’s job. Just love them.
Forgive yourself, and love yourself. Have compassion on yourself.
Forgive others. We don't know their story. Even the bullies in our lives have a story. Practice forgiving and extending compassion towards them. Doing so doesn’t make you weak. It makes you Christlike.
Leave judgment to the Lord.
Do ONE Thing
Check out the Enneagram links in the show notes.
Practice seeing others through God’s eyes.
Practice seeing YOURSELF through God’s eyes.
Remind yourself daily that you are a chosen child of God. He loves you, and he wants you with Him in His kingdom.
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Resources
Enneagram
Enneagram Introduction
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